Migrating wonders: when Upper East Side was moved down to Soho

I wanted to wait until the end of our apartment-hunting to write a post about the different brokers I met and my experience with the queer, surreal Manhattan real estate market. I can't. There is this one dude that simply deserves a post of his own. Also, this story may answer questions raised by friends and family who are already all packed and ready to come visit and are now wondering about the worrisome never-ending character of our apt-hunting. Hope this will give a sense of the circus-type of environment made of psychos and chronical liars I am dealing with. True, I met also a few nice people who are on the level, but the majority of brokers have a screw loose. Period.
What follows is my unabridged exchange of emails with a broker about an apartment advertised on the New York Times. (List of abbreviations: UES = Upper East Side, UWS = Upper West Side. The broker uses also UPE and UPW)

email # 1
date: Monday, October 29th
from: silvia to broker G.
Property Information:
Location: W 80th st, Upper West Side, NY 10024
# of Bedrooms: 2

Hi g., I would be interested in this apt I saw on the NYT. Could you please let me know where exactly it is located Would it be possible to see it thanks

email # 2
Mon 10/29/2007 11:03 PM
Hi Silvia, My name is L. and I work with G. the person that you responded to a listing on NY times.
This property is still available. I will be happy to show it to you at your convenience. I have also other properties that I could show you with this property. What is your maximum budget?
Hope to hear from you soon.
L.

email # 3
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 11:23 AM
L., I would like to see also your listing id # 137043. Can we do it today around 1 or 1.30? Would it be possible to arrange a viewing on such short notice?
for the apt on UWS, I can see it tomorrow around 12.30
thanks for letting me know
s

email # 4
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:51:29 -0400
Silvia,
I am sorry for getting back to you until now. The apartment that you did send me the ID for I am still waiting for a response from the landlord. This apartment is located in the SOHO area. Are you also interested in viewing apartments in Tribeca, SOHO, West Village , East Village , Chelsea & Uptown West?
Let me know because I will then able to set some appointments depending on the neighborhood that you would like to view apartments on?
Regards,

email # 5
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 3:12 PM
ok, to sum up:
-apt on UWS: waiting to hear from the landlord
-apt ID 137043 listed as triplex on E 77 and third, is actually in soho and not UES, correct? If so, I'm not interested in this one.
Let me know about UWS for tomorrow.
thanks
s

email # 6
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:28:15 -0400
Silvia,
I am still waiting for an answer from the landlord in the UPW.
The other apartment is located in Soho not in the Upper Eastside .
L

email # 7
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:25:51 -0400
Silvia, Here is a list of apartments that meets your criteria in the Upper Westside. Please let me know if you would like to view any of these apartments tomorrow.
Regards, L

(text followed by a list of some 20 apartments in UWS)

email # 8
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:37:48 -0400
Silvia, Here is another list for the Upper Eastside area apartments that meet your criteria

(text followed by a list of some 20 apartments in UES)

email # 9
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 5:33 PM
thank you L., it's very kind of you but I haven't asked you to start a new search for me. As a matter of fact we never discussed starting a new search from scratch and indeed none of these listings meets my criteria and I'm truly sorry that you spent time in vain.
I contacted you about one specific apt on UWS. If it's no longer available, or if it's located in soho like the UES E77 apt of the other listing, please do not hesitate to say so.
best regards,
silvia

email # 10
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:33:27 -0400
Silvia,
The apartment on the UES is located in SOHO , the apartment that you have enquired about I am still waiting to hear from the landlord what is the status.
I will let you know as soon as I know the status.
L

email # 11
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 5:43 PM
L., I perfectly understood that the apt on UES is in Soho . I got it the first time you told me but you can tell me once more if you want... this story is so hilarious that I love to listen to it over and over... I'll post it to my blog and send it to you :)
cheers

email # 12
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:45:05 -0400
Silvia,
I am sorry if I did not specified that the apartment that you thought was in the UPE is actually in SOHO, just an error of neighborhoods when uploading the apartment unto the NY times
L

email # 13
Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:03:23 +0100 (CET)
sorry L but it's hard to believe it was just a typo as the description goes:

Penthouse 3-bedroom sun filled duplex, newly renovated with granite kitchen with dishwasher, marble bathroom, gleaming hardwood floors, in an amazing location, 77th and Third, on one of the Upper East Side's loveliest blocks! Steps from the subway and great restaurants and bars! Don't miss out on this beauty- call G. for an immediate appt

Now, I don't care about the UES apt but this goes to show that you guys are not serious nor reliable and as we approach the end of day two and you seem not to be hearing back from the landlord of the UWS apt I become more and more convinced that the UWS apt is a fake as well.

So, let's pretend I never contacted you.
have a nice week

s

When I say OFF OFF OFF Broadway, I mean it.

I knew Hairspray and Legally Blond wouldn't work for us. Needless to say, our first theater pick in NY was an off off off Broadway play, i.e. the furthest thing from all the pizazz, thrill and extravaganza packed into a typical Broadway show. Now, since the Mint Theater offers seating for 96 (no standing room) it is supposed to be by definition off-off Broadway, precisely because of its having fewer than 100 seats. However, an artistic director who has the guts to produce and stage the totally unheard-of five-act, 3 hour long ONLY play written by Leo Tolstoy... he truly deserves 3 offs. With the play's oppressing and disturbing beauty, with the company's mission to "bring new vitality to worthy but neglected plays", with a theater space so small that from the last row you could stretch your arm and congratulate actors with a hand-shake, with the building anonymous entrance -including the chicano doorman reading comics-, the Power of Darkness was an unforgettable remarkable experience. For those who happen to be in town: the production has extended its limited engagement for an additional week of performances, until November 4.

The little differences

"You know what the funniest thing about Europe is?"

"What?"

"It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different."

Pulp Fiction, Vincent and Jules

I arrived in NYC on September 16th. I didn't do much the first week except for my apt-hunting. Actually, I'm still not doing much except apt-hunting... Anyway, a couple of days later stef and I went to buy a book at duane reade on 42nd. In this simple act of walking to the store there was a combination of amazing and unique features that only someone who's spent her last 4 yrs in brussels can truly appreciate:

-it was 10.30 pm and shops were open;

-it was sept 20th, 10.30 pm and the temperature was about 25 degrees -celsius-;

-my outfit was barely one level up the pajama degree of decency and acceptability and no one was staring at me;

-streets were urine smell free;

-no 25 year old drunk layabouts with dogs receiving a 1000 EUR a month from national insurance begging outside the store;

-I got a 5 USD reward coupon from duane reade after one week of membership as opposed to collecting barely 300 points a year with delhaize or GB cards which would entitle you to get a used toothbrush in the best case scenario.

La casalinga di Voghera

Qui l'era dei negozi di noleggio di DVD e' tramontata. In realta' il cadavere e' ancora caldo. Ricordo che ancora nel 2003 andavo con stef a noleggiare dvd in un negoozietto di Chelsea. Armati di buone intenzioni sceglievamo grandi classici davanti ai quali immancabilmente mi addormentavo, complice una buona dose di jet leg. Adesso invece, a 3 anni di distanza, di quel business non rimane che qualche pulcioso blockbuster con una scelta estremamente limitata e ridotto per lo piu' a vendere film usati.

Oggi si fa cosi': sottoscrivi un abbonamento a servizi online tipo Netflix, con pochi dollari al mese hai la scelta tra migliaia di film. Selezioni, clicchi e il giorno dopo il film e' nella tua cassetta della posta. Come se non bastasse puoi tenerlo quanto ti pare.

La tecnologia mi sta bene. Il progresso mi fa felice. Cio' che non riesco a digerire e' che al momento della sottoscrizione dell'abbonamento, il sito mi ha chiesto di esprimere qualche preferenza: "quali generi preferisci? Horror, musical, indipendenti, stranieri, etc...". Un questionario semplice e del tutto innocente, volto, secondo le indicazioni del sito "ad individuare i film che potremmo consigliarti secondo le tue preferenze individuali'. "Si', vabbe', auguri!" uno pensa, ed invece completato il breve ed elementare questionario, Netflix se ne viene fuori con una dozzina di film "che potrebbero piacerti" includendovi tre dei miei film preferiti ovvero Annie Hall, Il cielo sopra Berlino e Six feet under, ergo riduncendomi al piu' bieco cliche' in pochi click di mouse. Come dire: il pastore sardo, la casalinga di voghera...

The carpet's mystique

I find it hard to believe that there are people who love bikram yoga unconditionally. With all the sweating and crying and crowd and smells... bikram can only trigger simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and hate. Yet, provided that you choose to do bikram come hell or high water, the question is: why exercise rooms are carpeted? Why do they deliberately add fuel to the fire? After extensive research and on-site checks, I found a bikram studio in NY with hardwood floor! Actually I found two; one is called "some like it hot yoga" on UES, the name says it all... the other one is closer to where we live, Bikram Yoga East Side 235 E 49th.